Bliss

Tonight it was my turn to put Evan to bed.   Usually Ian and I alternate nights-one night I'll lay with Ben and tuck him in and the next night Evan.  Ben usually requires a drink, a trip to the potty, a song (that he doesn't know), and a cuddle until he's very drowsy or asleep.  Evan on the other hand is more hands off.  If you stay in there with him he'll just keep talking.  If you try to cuddle with him, he'll remove your arms.  So, we typically just tuck him in, turn on his closet light, and kiss him goodnight.

As I said, tonight it was my night with Evan.  He was chilly, so I got out some Star Wars socks for him and covered him up in his sheet, his comforter, and his homemade quilt made by his "aunt" Carrie.  Then he was "cozy".  So, I hopped right in to join him.  This time he actually asked me to put my arm over him.  We laid there.  Occasionally he'd rearrange himself, and occasionally he'd ask me a question or tell me something-profound thoughts like he hair colors of the Ninjago ninjas, how much quartz he'd found at the Kindergarten playdate earlier in the day.

We were happy and cozy.  Then, he did something very rare for Evan.  He fell asleep with me in bed. His breathing grew more regular, he started twitching ever so slightly, and he was out.  It was a moment of bliss for me.  At that moment I got a rare cuddle from my active, growing, curious, ever-talking little five year old, and I realized how much more fleeting those hugs, squeezes, and moments are going to get.  I couldn't bring myself to leave, I just soaked it in.

As all of Evan's friends have been starting Kindergarten and their first day pictures have been plastered all over facebook people have been talking about how teary-eyed all of the new parents are as their kid hops on the bus or heads into the teacher's room for the first time.  I kept thinking to myself, "No, I won't be that sentimental, he's been to preschool many times."  However, in that space in time in Evan's room tonight, I was reduced to a sentimental mommy with a tear rolling down my cheek onto the pillow.

If that's what happens over bedtime, imagine what a pile of mush I will be when he actually does start Kindergarten next Friday.